Losing my Religion
by Ma Vie et Mon Choix
Summary: The Catholic, the Deist, the Jew, the Lutheran, another Catholic and the Atheist.
1. The Catholic

A/N: This has been in my head for a couple of days now. It is just a look at each of the dectitives' religion. What they believe, how this job has changed them and their faith. I hope you like it. :)

Warning: Each chapter Faith and Religion is questioned. If that is NOT okay with you don't read. Also, I am not all the religions depicted. If I disrespected somebody and their faith, let me know and I will fix it. That was NEVER my intention. Cool? Then on with the story!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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He was an Irish Catholic.

He believed in God, the Father Almighty, the Creator of heaven and earth, he believed in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord.

He believes in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting.

He believed it all.

He did his sacraments: he was Baptized, he was Confirmed, he took his Communion, he confessed his sins, he had yet to anoint the sick, he knew he would not follow Holy Orders, but he was married… _was _being the imperative word.

He broke his fair share of commandments: He stole, he committed a small act of adultery, he did not always honor his mother and father, he'd killed a few men in the Marines. He'd used the Lord's name in vain, and he did not make the Sabbath holy.

But, he believed. He believed that God would make it better. He believed that the Lord was looking over his family and himself. He honestly believed this.

His faith, no doubt, had been questioned. But he pushed the thought from the mind. Everything happened for a reason. Sometimes you just couldn't see it.

Still. Every time he saw a child with tears and bruises, every time he listened to a woman recount her tale he questioned his faith.

How could a God, who was suppose to love his children, allow such a thing to happen?

But, later he'd go confess his sins. Confess his thoughts and say his prayers.

He was Catholic. Through and through.

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A/N: I'm not Catholic, I am Lutheran. I had to look up the Sacraments and I hope I did an okay job explaining things. I know it is short, but I think we get that is kinda my syle. Right? Review please. Story is complete and uploaded. All I have to do is add the chapter.


	2. The Deist

A/N: I hope you guys like this one too!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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She was a Deist.

She believed in God, she did.

She just didn't think He cared.

She believed that once a person was born that was that. She believed that God did not want them again until the person's death. She would never admit it, but she believed in angels.

Her mother told her who her father was in a drunken rage.

That was when Olivia Benson gave up on religion. At least for a while.

Eventually Olivia felt empty. There was a period in high school where she needed something to believe in. Anything really. And in U.S. History it was bestowed upon her. So, she became a Deist. She believed that God made this planet, made everything, but was hands off now. His work was done.

That thought gave her comfort. It meant that somebody had some faith in her, in people, even if she didn't. Even if her own mother had given up.

But, as she grew, as she saw victim after victim, she grew skeptical.

She believed He just didn't care at that point. If He was so merciful, if he was so wonderful, why did he let the innocents get hurt while the guilty were set free? She scoffed at the idea of Hell. There was no place bad enough for the scum of the Earth. Even if there was, why did they get to live their natural lives in peace?

She could never be Catholic.

She didn't understand. The whole concept of religion made her dizzy sometimes.

So, she chose the safest path.

God created her. That was that. He'd left her alone. He'd held her responsible for herself until she was dead. He gave her the gift of reason, as He gave all humans. Then, He'd chose if He wanted her as an angel, or give her to Lucifer.

Simple, right?  
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A/N: I think this was a little longer. I hope you enjoyed it. Review and let me know, please.

I feel should explain though, because I don't know how many people have heard of this religion. I didn't hear of it until this year in History. Deism. It is where you believe that there is a God, and he made the Earth, the people. But you believe it is your job to figure the world out. That God made everything, but is now hands off. It was popular in the 18th and 19th century. During the Age of Enlightenment. I thought it fit Benson.


	3. The Jew

A/N: I hope this is okay. Review please.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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He was Jewish.

He had his beliefs and his understandings.

He liked being Jewish. Judaism set a peace of mind for him. It allowed the freedom that Christianity and Islam did not.

Munch was able to switch his views. He was able to think about the present and not the future.

With Christianity there were so many rules. So many things to consider if someone went to Heaven or Hell. But, in Judaism all that is asked is that you are a good person. That you do good deeds in this life.

So, Munch was at peace of mind.

He was a cop.

He put the bad guys away.

But… sometimes. Sometimes he wasn't so sure. He suspected that telling your father you hate him right before he kills himself probably isn't the best thing in the world. And he figures that he probably should have helped that girl, his neighbor. He figured being cowardly was not Kosher.

But he pushed all doubts aside with his cynical smirks and his witty comebacks.

And, yet, he still found peace.

The idea that G-d was there, that there was someone who was in control that there is someone who hears him and only him was complete bliss. Or so, the Thirteen Articles of the Jewish Faith say.

Sometimes knowing that G-d will reward the good and punish the wicked sets his mind at ease.

Knowing that every single molester, rapist, and murderer will get what he deserves helps Munch sleep at night, even when he loses. Even when the bastards walk.

Knowing they will get theirs helps.

Knowing that every anti-semantic asshole will get what they deserve, that each rip tears their own reputation for Him, it helps. He feels content when he knows innocent lives harmed by the sacrilegious will go to a place where they are rewarded.

John Munch has always found comfort in his religion, even if he never said it out loud.

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A/N: I really hope this was okay. I am nervous because I know that religion is a very… controversial topic to write stories on. I don't mean to offend, and if I have please PM or Review and tell me what I did wrong. Please.


	4. The Lutheran

A/N: Hmm… this one was a bit tricky, but I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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He was Lutheran.

He was content.

He was happy.

He'd grown up without religion. His mother took him to church occasional, like on Christmas, but most of the time God was something only said in vain.

He'd found this form of Christianity when he was undercover once. He'd been playing spy when he'd followed the target to church. He was skeptical, of course, but was pleasantly surprised when he noticed how close knit the people were.

How caring they could be.

How understanding.

He'd followed the woman a few times more and listened to the sermons. They spoke of redemption. They spoke of ways to become closer to God. And the Pastor always found a way to connect to the people. One sermon Fin remembered was when the Pastor was talking about cleanliness. He spoke of how Jesus reminded his disciples that what went into the mouth did not matter, but what came out. He said that the hearts could be dirtier than the hands.

That what came out of the mouth was from the heart.

His partner died and Fin couldn't take how heavy his heart felt. He didn't like the lies that came from his mouth. So, he quit and joined SVU.

He continued to attend church.

Each week he listened to a prayer list, he listened to different people tell the church their troubles, trials, and joys. It amazed him.

They were so close, so much like family.

He saw how they took care of each other. Granted, it was a small church, and perhaps all churches were like this… but something stuck out to Fin. Something clicked.

He liked that for forgiveness all one had to do was ask the Lord through prayer. He liked being able to keep his sins to himself. It felt safer, he felt more in control.

But, there was a huge contradiction. He felt comforted knowing that God looked over everyone, that he forgave everyone. But that also made him angry. That meant God forgave monsters. That He would take in an evil man if he asked.

Fin was fuming over the idea.

And, somehow, one day he asked the question. Asked why God would forgive lurid humans. Why should Hitler be allowed into Heaven? Why should someone so evil have the chance to enter the Holy gates?

The answer was simple. God was merciful.

That answer made Fin even angrier. But then the explanation continued. To be forgiven the sinner must ask. Sometimes, people just don't ask. Sometimes, they honestly don't believe they did anything wrong.

The thought helped Fin deal, but he was not totally happy.

But he figured, he'd rather live life with a God and find out there wasn't, than to live his life without and find out there was.

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A/N: Of course I had to do one with my own religion! I'm not going to lie, my own religion brings a peace of mind to me. Knowing that He watches over and cares and knowing that I have room to ask questions brings a tremendous amount of comfort.

Anyway, review please and tell me what you think!


	5. Another Catholic

A/N: Because Casey is living I figured I'd give her one last time in a fic, well one last time in a fic when she is still currently on the show. Ya know what I mean.

Note: This week has been so hectic so far. Sorry for the wait. Read, enjoy and review! :)

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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She was raised Catholic.

She didn't turn her back on her religion, she just stopped paying as much attention.

She'd grown up a God fearing woman and somewhere in her teen years she just didn't appreciate having to fear God. She didn't feel it was right.

Later, of course, she returned to the church.

In the field she worked, she needed faith. She needed something to believe in, something better than humans.

Because time and time again, they disappointed her.

So she believed in something higher, something better.

And confessing her sins helped. It felt wonderful to just spill her guts and know she was not being judged. It was bliss.

She was able to confide her darkest secrets in a Father she barely knew on a personally basis, but who knew here inside and out. She would tell him about Charlie, about how guilty she felt about him and everything.

He'd tell her it was not her fault, but she was forgiven in the eyes of the Lord.

Besides, knowing that there was another place after here, another world that was simply euphoric eased her troubled mind.

She knew that behind this crappy city was a place where it was just… perfect.

She hadn't questioned her faith either. Not after her teenage years anyway. She accepted what was and knew that God had a plan. That everything would be okay.

She just had to believe.

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A/N: How was it? Again, I'm not Catholic, but I hope I did an okay job. I don't know Casey's character all too well, and I want to make this simple. This what she believes. I hope you liked it, review please!


	6. The Atheist

A/N: Final chapter.

Dedicated to Cusswords, (she's back! lol)

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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He was an Atheist.

He didn't believe there was a God, because if there was, why was the world such a mess?

Why would the Father Almighty let His children suffer so? Why would He take his children away and let the others suffer from the loss. Suffer, so He could have his way.

It didn't make sense to Don Cragen.

He stopped believing when Marge died. There is a more likely chance to be hit by _lightening_ then to die in a plane crash. So, if there was a God, why would He choose such a terrifying way for her to go? Why would He screw with Don that way?

Not to mention everything Cragen saw in his job. He saw children lose their innocence way before their time, he saw woman completely shattered and hopeless. He saw men ripped apart and left at the stage of the Neanderthals.

If God was so great, so mighty, why did He let so much happen? Why?

Each time he saw someone's empty eyes, his belief that God was not real increased.

When you die, nothing happens. Maybe you're remembered by a few, but they move on. Your body rots in a hole with a stone above and that is it. That is what Cragen believes.

He lost hope a long time ago.

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A/N: I know it was short, really short, but I think I got the point across. This was the final chapter. What did you think? Please review!  
And, I must say, I tend to end fics on a rather emo tone each and every time... hmm... Well, I hope it was as good for you as it was for me. ;)


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